You've done this a thousand times

Months ago I read a post by Tara Mohr. About how she was afraid of going into labor, but a kind soul helped Tara remember she, and the women before her, have given birth a thousand times before.

We all know certain things tend to stick with you. Or, more accurately in this case, you forget about them for months and then one night before you fall asleep, you have a EUREKA! moment and the profound point of the thing comes back to you in a rush.

We’ve all done all of this before. The good, the bad, the ugly.

You are made from the cells of your mother and the DNA of both your parents. At your smallest building block, they gave you what they knew…and so did their parents, and their parents. Back and back and back.

A fat load of good it does me, knowing in my cells, you say. I’m not seeing it at the forefront of my brain, where I can use it.

Well, that doesn’t mean you don’t still know it. That means you need to make some space. Get some things out of the way. The expectations. The busywork. The clutter. The programmed mindset that hasn’t been serving you.

Step back from that brain and imagine yourself at the finish line. After the battle is won. After the demon is vanquished. After the summit is achieved.

Look back at your present struggle from there. You’ll know, deep down, that you’ve been right here before. It was just another step on the path to where you are headed. You’ve gotten over stumbling blocks like this before, and you’ll do it again. You’ve done it a thousand times already.

My grandpa died in December. It broke my heart. I got sick, I couldn’t do what I normally did, I couldn’t apply myself to my daily routine in any meaningful way. I felt broken. I still kinda do.

I’ve done that before, in this body, at least four times. The details were always different, but the root of the hurt was the same. And before that? A thousand times. I know that feeling of bottomless ache, wanting to get back the thing that left this raw, gaping void…but knowing there’s no way to turn back time. There’s just getting used to the new space, and recognizing his spirit and his memory in the places he still lingers.

Knowing you’ve done this before doesn’t mean the pain won’t still break you. But you will remember, like before, that your wounds will be stitched back together with time and love. They—and you—will be stronger than before. Wiser. More whole, hopefully with a bigger heart that now knows how to contain such a struggle and still take another step forward.

Think about the biggest source of struggle in your life at this moment. (Aren’t we all trying to figure out our life’s big problem…then once we do, we find the next one? Silly humans.)

Look at the root of that problem. Maybe you’re struggling to make ends meet financially. Maybe you hate your job. Maybe it’s a relationship that’s causing your upheaval, or maybe it’s your health (or lack thereof). Maybe you find yourself in a house half full of clutter that’s clogging your hallways and your way forward. Maybe you care too much what it all looks like to other people, that you’ve forgotten what you want.

You’ve been beating your head against a wall to solve it already. Maybe if I try this, if I change myself, try harder, hustle more. If the stars align, if I can just squeeze another dollar out of this opportunity or that idea.

You’ve thought the problem to death. And it’s still there, staring you in the face with a jackass grin like a cruel joke at your expense.