I’m going to start by saying that I’m not apologizing for not posting. (Because that’s the cliche thing that annoys me so much, when bloggers go dark then come back with “sorry!” and it makes your eyes roll like Anderson Cooper’s.) This is me, not doing that thing.
(One day I will progress enough to be able to not even mention how long it’s been, and just pick up the conversation again. Like how I told you it’s better to not apologize for the state of your house when you have guests, but instead say things like “hi, I’m glad you’re here!” and “would you like a beverage?”. But I’m not there yet.)
Instead, I’m just going to start a numbered conversation about what I’ve been doing instead, and the thoughts I’ve been having about it, in no particular order. You might have thought I wasn’t going to blog anymore ever! But this is not true. Some other things are true though:
- The biggest reason is that life got really hard. It’s too much to dig into in this wee post, but I’ve been struggling with some things. Like grief, on several different fronts. I haven’t shared it online, intentionally. Partly because I’m not ready, partly because it’s complicated, partly because I just don’t want to. To sum up: I’ve been experiencing what it’s like to Be a Human, when being a human isn’t all sunshine and roses.
- I’m an introvert. This is not new, but one thing I’ve noticed is when I need to work through some shit, I tend to go inward to figure things out. Know what’s the opposite of “inward”? Sharing. On a blog.
- Also, while I’m inward, I have a wildly increased tendency to question the validity of my ideas (or even the direction my life is going). I’m afraid to share something I might change my mind about later. However, I just had an idea to revisit some of my old blog posts and reply to them, if you will, to make them ongoing ideas, rather than feeling as if they are written in stone and The Truth Forever. As a blog sometimes feels like in my brain. So….watch for that coming up in the future.
- My website design feels like a shoe that doesn’t fit anymore. As a designer myself, this is a big deal. Some of you may have experienced this as well, that when your outward aesthetics don’t match what’s on your insides, the dissonance is less than motivating. (I’m working on fixing this! See Big Announcement, below.)
- My work life is not integrated. On Rosy Blu, I write about all things Home and Self Care. I also do work as in the web/technology/marketing/creative realm at Hello Blu Studio…and this has been the bulk of my work with clients lately. When I’m eating and breathing one thing for weeks at a time, its hard to shift gears sometimes…and vice versa. The blog here has been one of the main casualties of this struggle. But the thing is, everything is connected. The way you work and the way you play and how you run your home and how you interact with everything…it is all interwoven in this complex little ecosystem that is your life. And it’s started to feel like an artificial division that’s holding me back. Which relates to the next one…
- The blog categories feel like “the old me”, with big gaps missing. I’ve been yearning to shift this a bit (actually, a lot), but want to do it in just the right way so I don’t anger or alienate my readers, who are incredibly dear to me. It’s hard to know exactly how to shift a thing gracefully. I don’t want to bore my old friends who came here for recipes and DIYs if they start reading new stuff about creativity and marketing ideas they aren’t interested in. I’ve been working on the minutiae of how this will work…and I’m on to something good. Again, see Big Announcement below.
- I haven’t been ready or able to post regularly. (See #1.) For all online marketers talk about posting regularly (even I’m guilty of recommending this!)…sometimes you just shouldn’t. Sometimes you should give it a rest. Long enough to BE rested. Then come back. Because you can’t give from an empty cup, because timing matters, because your intuition knows more than you do, because not all advice is good all of the time.
- As a result of #s 1 and 7, frequency and regularity kinda freak me out. Some of the Hard Things are still happening (and, well, we’re human, so we’re pretty sure Hard Things are a given sometimes) and so I’m not sure how often I’m able to share. I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep. I’m afraid of disappointing readers and not meeting my own goals. I’m afraid of not being enough, honestly. But I’ve also sensed lately that it’s time to start moving again, however slowly. Even if I don’t know what the next step looks like…I will just take one at a time.
- Life has a rhythm*. (Lots of them, actually. Cycling all at once, on top of each other.) My personal rhythm lately hasn’t had space for blogging. I knew it was temporary; it’s happened before, and will again. When you try to force things out of rhythm, it feels and sounds BAD. When you let the rhythm flow how it wants, you get harmony. This is important.
Here are some things that are also true:
- Writing here is incredibly important to me. The connections I’ve made through this blog are incredibly special, and I feel so much excitement about sharing my ideas and hearing yours.
- You’ll see a thread of uncertainty running through the list above. Perhaps you can relate? Perhaps you, like me, wish you could control all the things and not feel uncertainty at all? That would be so lovely. But we hare human, so we cannot. My current answer to that uncertainty is to develop a practice of trusting that it will be fine. Let’s use the example of my fear of shifting my blog topics and not knowing how people will react:
- Some people might leave. (And they will go in peace. I will not take it personally.)
- More people might arrive. (That’s exciting! We have a pretty amazing community here.)
- No one will start hating me. (This is a genuine concern. I really want to be liked. No matter what, my cats and my husband and my parents will love me.)
And finally, my Big Announcement
I’m launching a brand new Rosy Blu website next month! I know, I’ve mentioned the re-brand before (and I’ve been taking soooo looooong), but this time I’m within inches of being finished. I’m going on vacation with my family for a week starting this Thursday (OMG I’M SO EXCITED) and when I return, I’ll be putting the finishing touches on it and unveiling it to you.
The new website is much prettier. (Do you doubt me? I’ll prove it!) It’ll be easier to find and read favorite posts from the archives. It includes some new ways to work with me, and will reveal a BRAND NEW COURSE I’m planning. Hint: it’s going to help you manage your chaotic email inbox.
Stay tuned, my next post will be in a few weeks announcing when the site is live! In the meantime, I’d love to hear from you. Leave a comment or hit reply to say hello!
Thanks for giving me a piece of your precious attention by reading this. The fact that you allow me into your world is incredibly precious to me, as are you.
* The word rhythm is forever intertwined in my memory with my elementary school music teacher. She was a bit of a hippie who truly loved music with all of her heart, and loved sharing it with kids. When teaching us about rhythm, she marched around the room barefoot chanting, r-h-Y…t-h-M! and it has stuck with me for decades.